Late yesterday afternoon, I received a voice message from a man I met last fall. Drew was part of the second round of guys that I met. A real hottie: 36 years old, professional photographer, dark wavy brown hair, killer eyes that can see right through you, and a sly smile that brings all but the strongest of women to their knees.

We’d chatted numerous times by phone and gotten together twice in person—once for drinks—a second time for chai latte and for an outdoor concert on an evening where all the stars in the sky were visible. His last contact with me was to say he really wanted to find a woman in the lifestyle that he could date and potentially marry.

So, we went our separate ways. What I learned last night when we chatted is that he found that sexy, kinky woman in November—the best fuck he’s ever experienced—and has been dating and playing with her for months. Even fell “in love” as opposed to merely loving her (Tank says this is an important distinction). And he told her so. Which sparked him looking for apartments near her home so they could spend more time together.

And then, without warning, she ended everything. Didn’t even offer an explanation. His heart was hurting badly. You could hear it in his voice.

Now, this isn’t the first time I’ve heard this story from men. My very best friend, B1, had this occur after dating a woman for four years long-distance and finally getting a job in the city in which she lived. One day she was telling him how much she loved him and couldn’t wait for them to marry. And literally the next, she was gone.

Drama. Too much drama.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have time for this sort of shit. Life is too short and I need my energy to run my other businesses.

As serendipity might have it, Tank had just informed me that he didn’t think he could accompany me to a party in a few weeks. He told me so I’d have ample time to find someone else to go with me. So, I seized the moment. I invited Drew. No big deal to me that he’s just broken up with someone—actually, that might make him more horny LOL Plus, the photo he sent me of his chest after twice-daily exercise sessions took my breath away. The way I figure it, if Tank finds himself available, the three of us can go together. Drew agreed it would be awesome for us to show up as a threesome.

These last six months I’ve gotten my intimacy, relationship and sexual needs met, all without having to be concerned about whether or not a “guy” was going to still be in my life the next day. And, for the most part, the men I’ve met and spent time with are exactly the type of men I’d hoped to date—who showed zero interest in me since my last divorce in ’99. Ironic, isn’t it.

As a 51 year-old woman, I have far more control as a swinger than I did trying to date in the vanilla world. Important to me as a Leo! Now tell me, why would I ever want to go back to dating?